Name: Alexandra something-or-other...... Don't you DARE call me Alex! Just DON'T ok?!
Also Known As: o boy, here we go..... *Asterix*, Obsidia, Bombalurina, Eevin, Claire, Morgan/Obsidianna, crazy13cat, ericsmuse, book worm, Da na na Dork, Dictionary, Geek gal, Cat Woman, Prozak Girl, Phantom Phreak, Spazz Bitch, Booper Bitch, Bitchfest 99, Cat Bitch, Crazy Bitch, Psycho Bitch..... & the list goes on like this (I just *adore* my classmates, don't you?)
I'm calling from: Canada EH!
Age (give or take 10 years): totally immature..... for a 52 year old female guard at the maximum security prison for women
Occupation by day: Until about 4 in the afternoon, snoring/going to school (*shrugs* same thing)... then I get online like the inherent computer geek I am....
Occupation by night: If I told you I'd have to kill you.... It could possible involve crayola-box colored spandex, unrealistic body doubles, a cape, impossible gismos and speaking... in... constantly broken... sentences...
Hobbies: reading writing drawing singing when i'm sure noone can hear me sitting on my ever widenning duff basking in the radiation glow of a computer screen ruining my carpal tendons and cartiledge by my inscesantly fast rate of non stop tying obsessing over cats phantom anime mr. stitch and a bunch of other stuff we won't go into making up neurotic new spellings to perfectly good established wordz and sometimes not using commas or capital letters just for the heck of it and cuz i'm lazy
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: *stares blankly*
Favorite Sayings: ~~changes dayly~~ , often cludes the classics "Bite me" "Shove it" "Nah, ya THINK?!" and anything containing the word Pathetic, Deranged, Morbid, or one of my wunderfal worpz on werdz
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: The voices in my head make pretty sounds
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: The fuzzy glowing kind
Favorite Web Sites: O plug plug plug! Well of course there's our dearest Stacey's Site (we all luv ya hun! *kisses*)
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: El Pollo Diablo you dork, V you dork, 'Liv you ditz
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: cooked corn on the cob; baby corn from the can
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Jolly Green Giant cuz he's Santa Claus in a negative dimention
Favorite Spice Girl: Scarey spice. She roars and wears skin tight leopard print and puts her hair up in buns like ears and the rest of it sticks way out like a CATS wig...... she's the female Rum Tum Tugger :)
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 13% .... I just like the number
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: You get all my recipes over ICQ ;) but since you asked *grins evily and rubs her hands together preparing to type alot*

THE PERFECT CUPPA MOCHA: (sumfin VERY simple to start with, if you screw this up go give yourself a wedgie cuz you're too stupid for comfort)

1. 1cup milk, microwave till hot.
2. stir in 1 HEAPING teaspoon of Nescafe Rich Blend Instant Coffee
3. put in 10 jumbo dark chocolate chips and stir it up once they've melted
4. add sugar if ya need it (WUSS!)

TOMATO SANDWICHES (Stacers remembers these *g*)

1. toast 2 slices of bread; while they're toasting cut 1/2 of a medium sized tomato into 1/4" slices.
2. when the toast is ready, butter it, then spread on a good layer of mayonaise (food of the gods) over both slices.
3. layer the tomato slices out evenly; add salt & pepper to taste
4. place the two halves together to make a sandwich (boy THAT really needed to be stated in writing huh?)

CHOCOLATE SCHTUFF (it's not really chocolate, not really truffle filling, but it's a good substitute for both & if ya thin it down with milk & heat it up it makes hot chocolate)

1. melt 1/4 part butter in a bowl in the microwave
2. mix in 1 part cocao powder and one part sugar
3. mix in 1/4 part milk

~~This I found floating round the net, but it's twisted enough for me to enjoy so I'm putting it here too:

Kitty Litter Cake
1 pkg. spice cake mix
1 pkg. white cake mix
1 pkg. white sandwich cookies
green food coloring
12 small tootsie rolls
1 pkg. vanilla pudding mix
1 new kitty litter box
1 new pooper scooper
Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions. Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble. Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in blender. They tend to stick, so scrape often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix using a fork. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. Gently combine. Line new, clean kitty litter box. Put mixture into litter box. Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls and bury in mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly over the top, this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter. Heat remaining Tootsie rolls, 3 at a time, in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Serve with a new pooper scooper.

Serves 24

mayo's Epilogue: Her and I deemed each other best friends shortly after this. We eventually met in 2001 and performed "Macavity" together. I'm currently planning to move to Canada with her for the sake of our sanity and university educations. For the record I made the litter box cake recipe for Thanksgiving dessert one year. She inadvertantly disgusted my entire family. That's exactly why I love her.

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Name: Angela
Also Known As: Angie, Ang, Ange, Angelica, Zade, Danny's sister, The Weird One, The Quiet One
I'm calling from: Boring-Ville, USA, aka Brentwood, TN
Age (give or take 10 years): eh, 17?!?!
Occupation by day: Student and part time bum
Occupation by night:Junk food eater
Hobbies: Movies, phone, friends... eh, stuff...
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 696969
Favorite Sayings: "What the hell?" "Um..." "If life were a cookie, friends would be the chocolate chips." "If today were a fish, I'd throw it back in." "Life is a sea and I'm drowning." (Is that enough for you?) Oh, one more- the Ramones: "I wanna be sedated!!"
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Oh, I just adore Hanson! Yea right. Angie loves Weezer!! Dave Pirner of Soul Asylum, Alanis, The Bosstones, Mozart!!! Blues Travelers... Beck (lovely eyes), Soundgarden... Tool and Metallica?
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Claire Danes (My So-Called Life!!!), Wynona Riders, Matthew Perry, Val Kilmer, Leonardo Dicaprio :) :) Brad Renfro, Devon Sawa. I love dogs!! I love vegetables!!
Favorite Web Sites: I don't know, but don't go to Stacy's cuz it sucks.
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hi Coach Pauley- You suck
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: KoRn in a band (Hahahaha). I like both.
Why??: Because I say so.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: How do we know the Giant is really jolly?
Favorite Spice Girl: I prefer the All Spice High Endurance Guys
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: "Testing, this is only a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have recieved instructions on what to do, what to say in difficult situations."
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Would you like fries with that?

mayo's Epilogue: Ang and I rarely talk anymore, but we've managed to keep in touch over the years. She graduated from NYU in 2003 and is currently looking for jobs and stuff. So if you can help a political science major... Please do.

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Ann's Dedication to Her Friend

Name: Ann
Also Known As: annie banannie/ bitch/ annie-o / big bitch
I'm calling from: Halifax, Nova Scotia in my basement in my "home"
Age (give or take 10 years): between the age of 9-29
Occupation by day: bum (sorry stace, to be politically correct, "homeless bum")
Occupation by night: bum
Hobbies: sex sex and more sex (serious?? ok, art as in the craft, not the person)
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: don't you wish!
Favorite Sayings: "like I want to see balls and tits floppingeverywhere" (can I have more than one?) you know the rest [ed.note: too many to list!!]
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: (don't gag) Mariah Carey
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Tom Cruise and his nice ass, what breed of dog am I??? is that what you are asking? he he...dalmation And I DON'T LIKE VEGGIES!
Favorite Web Sites: Mine, of course
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: hi to my mommy!!!!!! i love you mama!
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: on the cob
Why??: more vitamins????
Favorite Spice Girl: ohhhh.....all of them!!!
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 2.9832654%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: I like sex!

mayo's Epilogue: Annie Banannie disappeared from my life in the late 90's to pursue a relationship with her girlfriend, Jenn, who didn't like me for various reasons. Curiously, she reappeared in August 2003 and is scraping her life back together. She wants to be a paramedic! We chat quite a bit these days, and I'm eternally greatful that I have her again. However, I do wish Jenn the best, and have never had any hard feelings towards her. I'm glad to be just one of Ann's bitches again.

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Dementia Rising

Name: Brian
Also Known As: EnemyZero on IRC
I'm calling from: California
Age (give or take 10 years): 6
Occupation by day: uhh...
Occupation by night: no?
Hobbies: heheh..riiight.
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: And you need to know because..?
Favorite Sayings: "uh,no?"
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Orbital, Metallica, uhh oh yeah SP.
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: uhh..no
Favorite Web Sites: 4-1-1
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: uhm... nope.
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: cob
Why??: tastes better (?)
Favorite Spice Girl: Emma (The cute one!)
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: uhm... -50%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: n/a..(?)

mayo's Epilogue: Unfortunately, Brian passed away on September 6, 1998, from a short bout with brain cancer. He was my first friend on the Internet, and I do miss him terribly.

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Bug's Palace of Shpick
Bug's Virtual Boy Page
Dr. Box
Bug's House

Name: Joe
Also Known As: Bug
I'm calling from: Bay Area, CA
Age (give or take 10 years): 18
Occupation by day: Disgruntled Student
Occupation by night: Disgruntled Wannabe Photoshop Guru
Hobbies: Guitar... Kitties... Video Games... Web Pages...
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 12345
Favorite Sayings: FA! - BAH! - MAH!
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Juno Reactor, Garbage, Orbital, Danny Elfman
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Steve (I don't know his last name... but sounds like Boo-Shee-Me), John Leguizamo, Wynona Ryder, Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Riply from Alien - Midgit Pugs - Corn in a Can
Favorite Web Sites: www.psxpower.com, http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/1127/
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Stacy
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Can
Why??: Doesn't get stuck between your teeth.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Jolly Green Giant is Great... but must say DelMonte is better.
Favorite Spice Girl: Posh Spice ;)
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 50% Making Pointless Websites
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: I like candy - Some Toys - Friend's kitty is going to have kittens - Sugar and Water... mmmmm

mayo's Epilogue: I have not a clue where Mr. Bug disappeared to. He just kinda drifted out to sea and I never heard from him again.

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Cheezy's Homepage

Name: Mark McCullough
Also Known As: Big Kahuna, Cheezy1
I'm calling from: Salt Lake City, Utah (no,I'm not mormon)
Age (give or take 10 years): Under retirement age
Occupation by day: Sales of little dead animals cut up and put into boxes
Occupation by night: beer taste tester, real cheap gigolo (ask for group discounts)
Hobbies: smashing heads in rugby,Hunting,Golf,Shooting, and all kind of macho-type things
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: The Restaurant Manager just cut it in half
Favorite Sayings: When in doubt,Whip it out
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Andy Williams, Burl Ives, Perry Como, Smashing Pumpkins, ..JUST NO RAP!!!!!
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables:CORN!! it always comes up when ya puke.. even if ya didn't eat it (kinda magic)
Favorite Web sites: www.metco.com (Rix favorite)
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: HI Gilly!!! Hi Mom!!
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: COB
Why??: the cobs make great back scratchers
Favorite Spice Girl: are they a rap group? if so,, I hate 'em
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 85% real life.... 15% on the computer
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Elvis has left the building.

mayo's Epilogue: ...Hell if I know where he is. Sometimes he catches me on ICQ, but it's been a few years, possibly since May, 1999. So as far as I know, he's well. I do know his cat, Bubba, died recently.

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Geri.Web

Name: Donnie
Also Known As: Donnie, Austin Powers, Laa Laa, Emma (only when I'm 'with' Geri)
I'm calling from: Geri's home.
Age (give or take 10 years): 31
Occupation by day: Student
Occupation by night: Stud
Hobbies: computers, music, books, trolling, writing, porn, writing porn ;)
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: ISBN 0-14-017739-6
Favorite Sayings: We'll I'll be buggered with a ballcock!
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Pulp, Bowie, Pumpkins, Placebo, Suede, etc.
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: I like a dog named Scooby Doo. He once ate an actor who was thought of by many, to be a vegetable.
Favorite Web sites: stacy's, mine, TMBG, Trixie Firecracker Geri Page
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Um...Jarvis Cocker, David Bowie, Ally Kearney, Marilyn Manson, Billy Corgan and Aleister Crowley. [ed.note: What, no mention of Onica? She's gonna be pissed!]
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Cob
Why??: It's fun to knock sense into emma with a cob you just devoured.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Well, I'll answer anyway. DelMonte. The cans are heavier. It's funny to watch the stars go around Emma's head when you hit her on the head with the can.
Favorite Spice Girl: Geri. Hips, tits, lips, POWER! She has a nice bum too :))
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: -100%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Never trust Trevor Ashman or Mel Gott.

mayo's Epilogue: Despite our closeness ages ago, I rarely talk to him these days, but we're still on good terms and that's lovely for me. Now he's a raging lesbian with a prominent 'net presence, and I can't keep up with the voices in his head. However, I still love every single one of them.

See Donnie's new profile!

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2.0
Absolute Emma
Land of the Wankies
Sulfurous Love Crack

Name: Jarod
Also Known As: Johnny Dakota, jak4444, vanman76, Mel B, asshole
I'm calling from: St. Louis
Age (give or take 10 years): 19
Occupation by day: slacker
Occupation by night: chronic masturbator
Hobbies: downloading porn, masturbating [ed.note: He forgot to add that he likes looking at pics of people in sexy cat suits...]
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 666
Favorite Sayings: "Don't worry about it." or "Nothing." [ed.note: Uh huh.]
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Marilyn Manson and Garbage and too many others.
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Steve Buscemi, Tim Roth, Kevin Spacey, fried dogs, what are vegetables?
Favorite Web sites: uh...this one?
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: i'm a loner
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: cob
Why??: Cause I said so
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: The Jolly Green Giant cause he's so sexy!
Favorite Spice Girl: Emma
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: Somewher below zero.
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: F*ck you?

mayo's Epilogue: Jarod and I met in person on the weekend of September 9th, 1999. He stayed at my house and we went on crazy adventures like getting lost in the car and hitting each other with Teletubby toys. We lost touch after he started going back to school and took a night job, but every once in awhile I spy on him on eBay and chat with him on Yahoo. When it comes down to it, he was one of the closest friends I'd ever had.

See Jarod's new profile!

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Planet Knowitall

Name: Jay (Ha, I filled it out)
Also Known As: Mr Knowitall, "Stop! Police!", The immovable object (Try it sometime, you'll see why)
I'm calling from: Auckland, New Zealand
Age (give or take 10 years): 20 (well, I will be, give or take a month)
Occupation by day: Learner of "Stuff"
Occupation by night: Monday - Wednesday : Bruce Lee Wannabe
Thursday - Sunday: Foodtowns oldest part-timer student......
Hobbies: Anything that I can do on the computer, Karate, AIESEC.
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 4019537726560. Now guess the expiry date.
Favorite Sayings: "People who think they know it all can be very annoying to those of us that do", "No Poet ever interpreted nature as freely, as a lawyer interprets the truth"
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: I don't *do* favourite groups, but I'll give the spice girls a special mention :-)
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Anyone outta "Something about Mary" (Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz, Matt Dillan, etc) [Ed.note: Yes, Cameron Diaz is quite a vegetable...]
Favorite Web sites: Shockrave, NZ City Homepage (Which load up with my browser)
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Mom, Pop, and all my fans (Currently around 35,000............. in the red)
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Cob by a long way!
Why??: It's the only time I play with my food [Typewriter Sound] Ding!
Favorite Spice Girl: [ed.note: he didn't fill out this field, so I'll just take the liberty of saying "Sporty Spice" for him]
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: That is inversely related to the correlation of age, population of women within ground zero, how double-booked I am (I'm always supposed to do at least two things at once), and whether or not Auckland has any electricity. Confused? I am.
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: I am also the worlds greatest assassin, I killed JFK, Martin Luther King, make no mistake, Princess Diana was no accident, and yes, I killed Kenny. YOU BASTARDS!

mayo's Epilogue: There was a bit of a feud between us at some point, but we talked for quite awhile after that. One time, he sent me a huge box of chocolates from KiwiLand. They arrived all melted since it was summer here. I've not talked to him for a good few years, I'm sure.

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The Stillwell Zone

Name: Jerry
Also Known As: M-RAZE
I'm calling from: Oklahoma also known by many other names that I will not get into that.
Age (give or take 10 years): 24
Occupation by day: Computer Crasher, Dr. Pepper drinker, drawer, homepage changer... [ed.note: and he's damn good at all of them, too!]
Occupation by night: Web surfer..., sleeper, dreamer, fantasize
Hobbies: Drawing, Working on computers, Listening to music, dreaming, wishing
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: Credit card...Oh!! that thing with the VISA logo on it.. =D
Favorite Sayings: "Oh well......", "Hmmmm...", =D "GOULASH!" [ed.note: Add "Yep" to that list. But *NOT* "Yup"!]
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Garth, Ace of Base, Jewel, Dixie Chicks, Sara Evans, Alanis, Leann Rimes, Elvis....anything but rap.
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Homer Simpson, mutt, green beans
Favorite Web sites: Yours and Mine, www.hampsterdance.com
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hello world! (computer programming thing..)
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: COB!
Why??: That way I can eat it like in the cartoons like a typewriter. (back and forth, DING!)
Favorite Spice Girl: I-Need-A-Life Spice
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 3% Due to the brain drain caused by college. Mental degradation caused from working at Mazzio's Pizza.
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: no announcements at this time

mayo's Epilogue: He lives near where I do, but we only met once, to go to a psychology seminar. Funny enough, he doesn't work far from where I live, and I could probably go see him whenever I wanted, but he's been aloof, sort of an indication that he doesn't want to meet again. Sometimes he e-mails me to see how I am. Now he has a real life and likes basketball. The internet can't compete with that, surely. ;D

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Name: Justin
Also Known As: dark forbin don't be fooled by the alias
I'm calling from: Oklahoma City.
Age (give or take 10 years): 19
Occupation by day: student Senior in High School
Occupation by night: none at the moment
Hobbies: computers, watching sports, writing, movies, music, camping, etc.
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: what give this information... not a chance
Favorite Sayings: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Metallica, Beck, any ska
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Val Kilmar(some say that I kinda look like him) Wolf, salads
Favorite Web sites: Friend Finder and of course Stacy's [ed.note: you all are too much!!;)]
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hi Mom!!!
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Giving out this information is too personal... sorry
Favorite Spice Girl: I don't like their music, but they sure do look good
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: Me, of course 110%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: e-mail me please

mayo's Epilogue: I met Justin via a friend of mine named Jenny waaay back in 1996. At the time he was dating Jenny, but later started calling me up. Frustrated at my lack of conversation, he eventually realised the only way he could get me to talk was online. In late 1999, when I was going out with Sam, he started ringing me up again in an effort to date me. Justin called on my cell every night, asking that I meet up with him. He even reassured me he looked like Beck. At some point, we made a date to see him at a Chinese restaurant on a Sunday. Sam and I never showed, and he wasn't the least bit happy. Never heard from him again after that.

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Name: Kyle *The Stud* Hutchings
Also Known As: SpaZ, SpaZ-fo0, SpaZ`em
I'm calling from: OklahuMma
Age (give or take 10 years): 16 yrs 4 months 3 days (info valid as of 8/13/97)
Occupation by day: Student
Occupation by night: Stripper...err....Best Buy Employee
Hobbies: Computer-ing, 4x4ing, Rollerblading, and Raquetball
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 123-4567-8910
Favorite Sayings: Hey Hey Hey (In the best Fat Albert voice a skinny white boy can muster)
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: The Pumpkins, The Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, Skanking Pickles, Mustard Plug and Skif Dank (Mostly Ska)
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Michael Richards , Pug, and Cumquats
Favorite Web sites: www.battle.net
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hi Stacey! Ohh yah...goto your web site so you get more hits!!
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: COB COB RAH RAH RAH!!
Why??: Cuz you can beat people w/ the cob when you're done
Favorite Spice Girl: The one w/ the hair...Come on you know *that* one!!
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 98.6% er...wait that's my temperature

mayo's Epilogue: Kyle and I were in the same English II class in high school together. Both of us were interested with computers, so after he dropped out, we primarily stayed in touch via ICQ. He eventually got into hardcore drug use, but resurfaced to go to HordeFest with me (in 1998) and later we went on a few friendly dates together. At that point he was seriously trying to get cleaned up, but I haven't talked to him since sometime in 2000. Last I'd heard, he'd moved to Bethany and was planning on getting married. Just for shits and giggles, I did a search on him on the Department of Corrections offender site, only to see he'd been received (arrested?) in December of '01. So... who knows what he's up to now. To say I miss him would be an understatement, he was one of the silliest people I've ever known.

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Merphie's Homepage
The Temple of Chris Cornell

Name: Chris [ed.note: I had to fill out this field for him... he forgot it.]
Also Known As: Merphie, Chrisco [ed.note: ditto!!]
I'm calling from: Hell (aka Moore)
Age (give or take 10 years): 24 [ed.note: aww, nevermind, it's too much to type out]
Occupation by day: Salesman
Occupation by night: Vampire
Hobbies: Biting Stacely, computer
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 003145987568741
Favorite Sayings: rape me,lick me,make me scream [ed.note: I asked him 3 times if he wanted me to keep this in...]
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: soundgarden,metallica
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: sean connery
Favorite Web sites: http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/1127/
http://www.ionet.net/~merphie [ed.note: new url: http://home.mmcable.com/merphie]
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hi GOD!
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: On the Cob
Why??: I like it because of all the fun stuff you can do with it after you have eaten it!
Favorite Spice Girl: All of them!
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: .00000000000000000000001%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: I love Stacely! *wink*

mayo's Epilogue: We dated. A LONG time ago. In 1997, actually. Then there was a nasty breakup (on my part). Learned to never do that again. Over time things have smoothed over between us, and occasionally we'll talk. He's married and has two children now, and still lives in Moore.

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The Mainhall of Sir Narthring

(Note: The views expressed in the previous statement do not necessarily reflect the views of G. Michael W. Glover. Stacy said this to me in a chat once, yeah, that's it. Blame HER when you find a goat horn sticking through your back. Mwhahahaahaaaa!) ;-)

[eds.note: Can't you see why I love this man? :P]

mayo's Epilogue: Goatboy and I talk fairly frequently, meaning we're still in touch. He's met both Alexandra and Philip, and got to stay with Lexx and I when we went to Houston to see "Cats". For awhile he moved to Norman, and would stop by to watch movies (with conditions - as in only if I made cookies). He's doing damn well.

See Michael's new profile!

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Pyke's Peek

Name: TIM
Also Known As: PYKE / SonOsaM / XyQshuneR
I'm calling from: Toronto ONT
Age (give or take 10 years): 30/m
Occupation by day: Communications Consultant
Occupation by night: IRC HOUND
Hobbies: IRC...did i mention irc....oh..and reading e-mail....
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: ????? hehe i dun have those!
Favorite Sayings: HAR HAR HAR..... SUCKAGE.....
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: I like lots of stuff...classical to heavy metal
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: harrison ford/winona ryder
Favorite Web Sites: JENNIcam hehe..oh ya ...and this one....:) [ed.note: I lost the Jennicam addy, patience...]
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Mike D..(HEY MIKE ..YER NAMES ON A WEB PAGE...SUKKKKKER!!!!!)
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Cob
Why??: Getting corn stuck in yer teeth is a great reason to use a toothpic:)
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: ick
Favorite Spice Girl: uh....the blond one....lol
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 12% give or take an irc addiction
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Please surf safely kids....remember...There are ppl like me all over the web....BE AWARE

mayo's Epilogue: After a long battle with the world of baby making, Pyke and his wife ("Redd" was her nickname when she'd say "Hi" to us) finally had a little girl named Madison. Every once in awhile I get an e-mail from him, and he sends me pictures of her. :D She's a cutie just like her mommy and daddy. Everything is great for him, and I'm SO proud! :D

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Name: Robert [ed.note: why won't people fill out this field?? memory lapse or somethin'??]
Also Known As: rggt
I'm calling from: OKlahoma City
Age (give or take 10 years): 28
Occupation by day: Mechanical Engineer
Occupation by night: Mechanical Engineer if I have to work a long night.
Hobbies: Beginning French, Jujitsu, irc, playing with my camera
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 4947449276424
Favorite Sayings: ouch
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Andrew Powell
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Amy Jo Johnson
Favorite Web Sites: "Ma Page des Amis" on http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/1127 [ed.note: can we say "suckup"??]
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: uh... That's confidential
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Can
Why??: Stores for 6 months
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Which is cheaper?
Favorite Spice Girl: Cinammon?
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 25%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Open box, Pull out dish, open microwave, remove plastic cover, put dinner in microwave, set to time recommended on box.

mayo's Epilogue: He works as an engineer, so his work times are dodgy. I see him around on ICQ but we never talk. So I just assume he's alive.

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Ron's Spice Girls Web Site

Name: Ronald Traino, Jr.
Also Known As: Ron, Ronald, Ronnie, whatever, it's cool with me. :)
On IRC: JackTripr
On AOL: Trainofam
On CB radio: The Shepherd
I'm calling from: Fulton, NY, USA
Age (give or take 10 years): 26
Occupation by day: Sleep
Spice Girls MANIAC
Occupation by night: Postal Worker
Hobbies: Spice Girls
Three's Company
Computers
Writing
Electronics
Reading maps and taking long rides in the car
Swimming
Taking the dog on long walks
Reading, writing, and translating Latin
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: This confidential information is inappropriate for a public web page. [ed.note: dang it, I knew someone would catch me sooner or later!!]
Favorite Sayings: "No complaints, noble leader."
"I'm making the most of it."
"Look on the bright side... at least that's what people are always telling me!"
"If you don't have a good partner you need a good hand. (Yeah playing Bridge, what'd you think??)"
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Spice Girls
Bangles
Go-Go's
Bananarama
Debbie Gibson
Alanis Morissette
Chicago
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Actor: John Ritter of Three's Company
Breed of dog: Collies and golden retrievers
Vegetable: PEAS!!! (YUM!) :d
Favorite Web Sites: AltaVista Search
Ron Traino's Spice Girls website
Rascal Dog's Home Page
St. Stephen's Traditional Latin Community
Down At My Rendezvous
Alta Vista Translation Services
Stacy's "Ma Page des Amis"
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Hello, Stacy! :) (you already know you're mentioned here...)
Hello, Spice Girls! (but I have no way of telling them...)
...gosh, I don't know, help me out here... I don't know that many people...
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Corn in a can.
Why??: Corn on the cob gets stuck in my teeth.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: No, I'll take any brand that's the cheapest.
Favorite Spice Girl: Emma, Baby Spice
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: -10% [ed.note: It's still more than I have!!]
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: I could babble on and on forever but I don't want to use up all your web space!!
Items for Sale: "If you're buying, I'm selling! And it won't cost you much, either! At my prices I'm practically giving it away! And if you're not completely satisfied there's a money-back guarantee!" -- Chrissy Snow
Baby Shower Announcements: I don't do those.
Recipes: Whopper Ghoulash

mayo's Epilogue: There was some bad blood between us when I announced I was getting married, but he's since apologised and we cross paths on the quiet alt.music.spice-girls sometimes. Ron still sends me merry Christmas notes and cute little things he's done... He was always so creative. :)

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Soulz At Zero

Name: Sam
Also Known As: Terakkan
I'm calling from: Khodzant, Tajikistan
Age (give or take 10 years): 21
Occupation by day: Dock Worker
Occupation by night: Rogue Poet/Psycho
Hobbies: Being a freak
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: Ha Ha Ha
Favorite Sayings: Gods Cuss It, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Garbage, Ozzy, Metallica, Live, Holst, Beethoven
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Harrison Ford, Laurence Fishburne
Favorite Web Sites: Free Stuff, New.com, Cnn.com, Nasa.gov
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Claudia, Victoria, Laylo, and Stacy
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Can
Why??: Doesn't get stuck in your teeth
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Dunno
Favorite Spice Girl: Posh, Latex Yum
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: 4%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Who's scratching in the back of my head.

mayo's Epilogue: Sam and I, believe it or not, got married in June 2000. The marriage is now crumbling at a drastic rate due to his increasing EverQuest addiction, but to say I don't adore the man would be a lie. Without him, I wouldn't be where I am now. The whole situation just breaks my heart.

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Name: Michelle
Also Known As: Sooper
I'm calling from: Richmond, BC
Occupation by day: Iam a momma --Daughter is 5yrs and son is 3yrs old.
Occupation by night: Student/net surfer
Hobbies: Water sports, outdoor stuff...rollerblading, gardening..esp garage sales..lol.
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: 654321 (Knock yourself out ppl!)
Favorite Sayings: "Whatever"
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Love all sorts of music
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Jodie Foster, Brad Pitt, Rotweillers, Fresh peas
Favorite Web Sites: What's a web site? Did I mention that Iam a newbie?
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Pyke, Mayonessa, Starla, Ann, Cheezy1 and all those friends I have yet to meet.
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Definitely cob...
Why??: Excellent eating experience...yummy..buttery.mmmmmmmm
Favorite Spice Girl: All spice
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: oh, at least 90% [ed.note: lucky you!! ;)]
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Chocolate almond blizzards..take ice cream, choc or fudge chunks, and almonds and blend together....decadent...

mayo's Epilogue: It's been AGES since I talked to her. From what I heard (coming from reliable sources), she didn't like me much. To be honest... I'm not shocked.

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Soul's First Page

Name: Derek Roussy
Also Known As: SoulSaver
I'm calling from: LaLa Land!
Age (give or take 10 years): 18
Occupation by day: Student
Occupation by night: IRC AND WORK
Hobbies: IRC AND PURE MUSIC
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: hehe :)
Favorite Sayings: SoulSaver is in lala land!
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: EMJAY
Favorite Web Sites: youres may

[ed.note: he didn't fill out the rest of the survey...*sniff* :)]

mayo's Epilogue: Hell if I know where SoulSaver went, either. ;) Up until last year, when I lost my notifies on IRC, I would still see him on, still living in Ottawa. Props to Soul in LaLaLand.

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Name: well, it's soundman, nickname: soundman, but some people call me Peter, others call me OI!
Also Known As: There can only be one Soundman [ed.note: damn right! and he's my soundman! so back off vagrants!! :)]
I'm calling from: Li'l ol London of course
Age (give or take 10 years): Would anyone believe 28? I didn't think so. How about 38. It used to be 37 until a few days back... I should have filled this in last week
Occupation by day: Soundman - Starting in the afternoons normally
Occupation by night: Soundman finishing when I go to sleep
Hobbies: Avoiding crowds, going to places no one else would ever dream of going so that locals say things like "what's an Englishman doing here?" and other oddball things
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: Far too busy working to even get time to order a credit card. Current account is empty anyway
Favorite Sayings: I say old chap! ... and other terribly British sayings
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Hmmm, must be 50 of them: How about Phil Collins, Chris Rea, Dire Straits. They must be among my all time favorites, but right now, I like No doubt (hasn't she got an amazing voice) and the Cardigans (don't they have some amazing lyrics)
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Does this include actresses? I hope so.. Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Melanie Griffith and Daryll Hannah, because they can all act so cute and dumb when they want to - guaranteed to melt a guys heart every time!! as for the men.. Sean Connery (Because I always wanted to be 007), Clint Eastwood (how macho can you get?)
Dogs? how do they get lumped in with actors? German Shephards are good to have around. about as sensible as you can get for a dog, and sweetcorn - they make wonderfull housepets as they never move or misbehave. and if time are hard, you can eat it.
Favorite Web Sites: US Robotics - I look at it daily waiting for the time they announce an upgrade for my modem (It's real soon now!!!!!) but My real favorite ones are the ones that mention me!
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: it must be to my best internet friends, Mayonessa and Pyke.. er.. sorry, this won't get your hit rate up much will it?
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: It depends, I like corn on the cob, but it's so messy. I can't eat it if I've got to impress someone, so it's from a can most of the time.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: Jolly Green Giant everytime.
Favorite Spice Girl: any of them as long as they're out of the country. We managed to export them to the US recently. Trouble is.. they'll be back home again soon!
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: It varies, first thing in the morning.. 4%. by the end of the day it's close to 100%
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: Recipe for fried chicken (serves 4 people): Go to KFC and ask for 8 pieces of chicken. A cooked meal in just a few minutes!

mayo's Epilogue: Due to complications, him and I had to stop speaking as often as we did. Every once in a blue moon we'll chat on ICQ. When I visit England, I'm planning to meet him, as he and I so often daydreamed about. He's doing fine, and I still maintain that he's MY Soundman.

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Rebecca Squared

Name: Rebecca
Also Known As: starla
I'm calling from: New Orleans, Louisiana
Age (give or take 10 years): 19
Occupation by day: Bum
Occupation by night: part-time student, full time bum
Hobbies: music, movies, drawing, drinking (joking)
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: That dude at the store cut up my credit card and my checking account was closed due to lack of money. Sorry.
Favorite Sayings: "If you know what I mean, and I think you do." "Stupid Mofo." and other random thoughts that pop up in my head.
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Smashing Pumpkins, Cowboy Mouth, Nine Inch Nails, Garbage, Hole, Beck...come on! I work in a record store and live in a place where I am surrounded by music. There isn't enough time, nor enough room.
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Vince Vaughn, Matthew McConaughey, Drew Barrymore, Al Pacino, rottweiler, pomeranian, beagle, greyhound, corn, peas, asparagus.
Favorite Web Sites: Yers, Cowboy Mouth's, House of Blues
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: "Hi" to all my lovely friends, and to Anthony, diediediediediediedie.
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: Right now, all I've been eating is the one out of the can, so I prefer cob.
Why??: Because I've been without it for so long.
If You Said "Corn in a Can", Do you Prefer The Jolly Green Giant to DelMonte??: I didn't say can, so therefore I will not answer.
Favorite Spice Girl: YoMomma Spice. Why couldn't you ask who my favorite Teletubby is?
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: I might have 100%, but since I have to go to school, and have a job, and since I'm very single right now, not by choice either, I'd say it's somewhere around 30% for the tme being.
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: You asked for a recipie, you're getting it. Okay, here's how to make a Hurricane (the drink, not the weather problem.) You need one oz. lemon juice, 4 oz. dark rum, 2 oz. red passion fruit cocktail mix (or Hawaiian Punch-same thing), crushed ice, orange slice and a maraschino cherry. Shake the lemon juice, rum and red passion fruit mix together in a mixer and pour it in a glass with the crushed ice. Garnish with the orange slice and cherry. Too many of these will give you the worst hangover in the history of mankind. Just doing my duty to get people drunk. I have more recipies up on my website. Good food too, New Orleans food. Go there, get hungry, and make food. (I'm hungry.)

mayo's Epilogue: After tormenting Onica on alt.music.smash-pumpkins (regarding the chronology of Billy Corgan's hair), Starla dragged me with her to alt.music.spice-girls, where I stayed, and she left. Here and there she stopped by to say hello. Sometimes I see hits on the mayonessa.com counter from New Orleans, and I secretly wonder if it's her. "Starla dear, you're on my mind..."

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Xav's Homepage

Name: Xavier [ed.note: he didn't fill out this field...]
Also Known As: Xav33
I'm calling from: Midland, MI
Age (give or take 10 years): 18
Occupation by day: Student
Occupation by night: Pimp ;)
Hobbies: Computer stuff, golf, basketball, TV & movies
Credit Card and/or Checking Account Number: Checking account is 986521437, no credtis cards though :(
Favorite Sayings: Doh!!!
Favorite Musicians/Groups/Whatever: Smashing Pumpkins, Foo Foghters, Beck, Chemical Brothers
Favorite Actors, breeds of dog and/or vegetables: Tomato, Beagle and Jackie Chan
Favorite Web Sites: www.riddler.com, www.mtv.com
Name Some People You'd Like to Say Hello to Here: Errrr.... Hello Stacy ;P
Corn on the Cob or Corn in a Can: On the cob!!!
Why??: Cuz its fresh and it didnt lose all its flavor in the corn juice u get in can. I hate Canned Corn!!!! ARRRRGHHH!!! :S
Percent of an Actual Life You Might Have: Since 0 isnt an actual percentage, I wont answer your question and you wont know how much life (lack of) I have bwa ha ha ;)
Additional Comments, Items for Sale, Baby Shower Announcements, Recipies, etc: There is a blue Sedan with its headlights on, license plate 3Y6 U5T, I repeat... Blue Sedan with headlights on, license plate 3Y6 U5T

mayo's Epilogue: When he went off to University we lost touch (possibly even before then), but one night late in 1999 he caught up with me again. He told me all about the fun he had (drinking) in uni, to the point where he had to leave. Last I knew, he was working as a convenience store clerk. I believe later he was frustrated with me for never being on ICQ, so he stopped talking to me altogether.

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You are, btw, the person to venture here.

If, for whatever reason, you have a beef about this page, email me.

This page was last updated 11/20/2004 @ 2:04 am... My butt is sore from sitting here for so long.

©1999-2004 mayonessa. So bite me.