Are you having second thoughts?
I know you turned your back on me
You really dind't know, you said
But I did

Are you re-evaluating your life again?
A glance back at vague sweet memories
Elusive embarrassment and once trembling speech
I realise now

Did it once again hit you that you are alone?
A race against time and for your own lust
Fulfilling some need somewhere in time
And I know

Do you really want me back?
Fallen mistrust and undeserved promises
My scattered thoughts and vigilant wonderings
And I'll let you

But will I?

Thru your torments and poetry for other girls and the ones that did not click, did not move you as I did you said and would not wear vinyl for you or drive so far or be willing to crash for you you gave me you because you needed to, who else would have you?, and here you are again horny, lonely, we were soulmates, we were one and you told me how scared you were and I swallowed, I trailed behind you and I wanted you so bad I could have tasted it, your longing broke me and now I hope I'm breaking you, carefully and subtly unconsciously choking you lovingly and privately like the night you wanted to kiss me and wanted to scream cos I was too far out of your grasp where you wanted me once, twice, til you saw my face and turned around in disappointment and disgust the letters, the perfume, the grasping for each other via wires and imagination just like all this was... a dream... a hallucination of what you wanted to be with me and we were mythical lovers in bed with a dream that melted into a nightmare by your fear and misconceptions. You are not strong, you are blind, you are beautiful and poetic and you turned me on by your own will you pushed me away.

I forgot the scent but remembered the face and it is an after image floating around my head I'll always remember and be attracted to your vision lovingly and unfortunately lustfully.

You laid yourself down to me naked and willing and almost painfully and left me just the same as you, we are one now, I am glad you feel better but stop reminding me I hurt long ago I don't anymore so stop reminding me I was mad once, anger goes away and is replaced by self-respect so stop bringing it up, are you trying to tell me this is how you feel now?, stop playing, either it's what you want or it's not conveniant I'm not a conveniance but I will be yours if you want me to, so I'll stumble along until you fall in again unaware, no, you know, you hide it in your quiet musings and you can't deny the existance of something like the six hour phone conversations and ramblings and confessions and scorns and sorrows and dreams and fears. I do.

I don't blame myself. This isn't about me, it's about you. See you Sunday.